Progress Is Perfection

A blog to inspire, motivate, and unleash the awesome in everyone


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Not Measuring Up

Well, it’s been far to long since I’ve written anything. I haven’t been able to get my thoughts down in a coherent way, so I’ve been putting this off. Tonight though, I needed to write something. It’s just my thoughts tonight, with no real direction, but I’ll get there…

How do you measure yourself? How do you know if you’re achieving your life purpose?

Parenting? Reaching health and fitness goals? Progress?

Well, whatever it is, I’m not there. I’ve been going backwards for the past year and a half, especially in the last 6 months since my car accident.

My parenting is less than perfect, I’m not always present emotionally and we don’t do all the fun things I wish we could. I have an amazing kid though, I boast about him constantly. He’s intelligent, caring and is always making us laugh. I love him and want to be great for him. I want to smile and laugh and enjoy every single day with him, I need to be strong for him.

Reaching my health and fitness goals, this is the killer for me. My fitness goals have come to a halt since May of this year, all thanks to a car accident. I thought I would be better by now, it’s been 6 months. I thought I was strong. This healing process has made me question my strength, mentally and physically. I was in the process of training for my second Tough Mudder before the accident; that included kickboxing 5-6 days and running 2-3 days a week with some extra strength training added in. I was ready to kick ass at TM and bring home another headband. Well, that didn’t happen, and for the last 6 months I’ve been struggling to get back to where I was. It’s beyond frustrating to look back and see what little progress I’ve made; sure, my injury is slowly healing and I’ve improved that, but physically I’m not even close to where I was.

The daily pain is what gets to me; between the headaches, shoulder, neck and jaw pain, I have zero energy for anything extra after work. I’m trying, hard, to break through this. Push past some of the pain to test my limits and see how far I really can go, but it’s a slow process.

I’m not sure how to pull myself out of this slump. I’ve been trying to take it day by day, write my short and long term goals down, and push myself to succeed in those goals.

This last week and a half I’ve seen a considerable improvement in my physical abilities, which gives me some hope, but I’m still not there mentally. I’m stuck in this funk of feeling sorry for myself, pathetic and weak to let a car accident hinder my abilities.

I’ve been through so much shit in my life, that I’ve fought and overcome, so why is this getting to me? I’m honestly just exhausted from life, and this was my last straw. I’ll get through it, I always do, I’ll just have to fight a bit harder this time.

Nicole


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Loving Life

I used to think that the more I had, the happier I would be.

I’m sure we all go through that in our lives; we see it everywhere. Commercials showing people happy with the newest car, families who have beautiful homes with tons of toys (and it’s always clean), and women with tons of fabulous clothing. It’s hard to remember that these people are actors; they are paid to work on a beautiful set and be happy. They have to portray perfection to sell whatever it is they have been hired to sell.

perfectfam

My life doesn’t revolve around perfection though. I’m not getting paid to have the perfect home, the best toys for my son, or the most fabulous clothing. So why do I still feel the need to have those things?

I absolutely love my life. I love my family, my friends, my job. I’m excited with where life is taking me, and even though money is tight and we don’t have the best of everything, I can’t help but smile every day.

Sure, I have my moments. I’m not always happy; I can get grumpy and stressed out, but I always assure myself that there is a way. I’ve been through hell and back again; as long as I have my family, friends, and food in the fridge, everything else will happen on it’s own.

I don’t need perfection. I don’t need the best in the world. Sure, there are things I would like. A new car, awesome new clothes, a laptop… but if I don’t have those things, my happiness won’t suffer. I know this because two years ago I didn’t have much of everything. I lost a lot during the breakup with my sons dad. I lost almost all of my furniture, clothes, money, and even my car. I slept on the floor of my living room, on a pathetic futon mattress, so that my son could have a room. I put myself into debt to pay for rent and daycare, and we probably wouldn’t have eaten had it not been for my boyfriend. I went through hell and back, and am grateful for it.

I don’t take things for granted anymore. I work hard. I am grateful for everything I learned during that time in my life. I learned how to survive. I learned how to find something great in each day. I forced myself to stay strong, and fake a smile until one started coming naturally. I had to for my son; he taught me how to love and laugh again. I also learned how to be happy with less.

I’ve got the world, I’ve got my health, I’ve got my family and I’ve got my friends. What more could I ever need?

lovelife

~Nicole


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Taking time for ME

ME time, what’s that?

“Me” time is driving alone after I drop my son off at daycare, or those few blissful moments before everyone else wakes up in the morning. My days are so full of being a mom, a girlfriend, an employee, a fitness junky, and everything else that’s thrown at me. Me time gets pushed to the back of the line.

And honestly, it’s taking a toll.

I don’t remember the last time I sat outside and read my book, or had a bubble bath, or went for a walk by myself. Hell, I don’t even go to the bathroom by myself anymore!

I’m realizing now that I NEED to take a couple minutes out of my busy day and be alone. I’m not being selfish for wanting this time, I’m doing it to better myself, so I can be the best I can be for my family.

I’m going to start reading again. I’m going to start writing again. I’m going to take bubble baths again. And for the hell of it, I’m going to start locking the bathroom door.

Because I need to love myself, by myself.

We work so hard to do things for other people; our kids, our husbands, our friends. But how often do we go out the way to do something for ourselves? I know I don’t do it often enough.

Take a look at your life. Do you make a date with yourself, every day, to do something that is just for you? Let’s all try it. I’m going to set aside 15 minutes a day to spend by myself, and I hope you will do the same! We need to love our body and our minds.

~Nicole